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Doodles

"You can't take all of my heart, but you can take your best shot."

Created on 2004-08-22 05:27:17 (#4277566), last updated 2009-06-29

1,097 comments received, 3,841 comments posted

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360 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Maddy
Location:	Australia

Bio

"I am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered, disguised as a hero to get past your borders..."
And so the essay begins:

I like cheese. I like my lightsaber spoons. That's right, I have TWO. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I've kept every note that anyone ever wrote me. I can say the alphabet backwards - fast. Gold Red Eye is better than sex, Classic Red Eye comes close. Being out on a boat is the best feeling in the world. I don't actually like cheese to the extent I say I do. I check my LJ every five minutes or so. I love having showers in the dark. I like my pancakes with Vegemite. I jig in public. I jig in private. I catch random buses just for the hell of it. Music is the best thing since no music. I like green lights.
Can you tell I need to get out more?

In broad label terms, I'm a lesbian, a LaVeyan Satanist, an Aries, and a proud Australian. I am unemployed (haven't been well) and about to begin Uni for the first time - A Bachelor of Arts, heading for teaching. I have an opinion on pretty much everything; way too much free time, but then, I've always been opinionated. I like to ignore deeper things in my reality by focusing far too intently on the issues presented at face value. I spend a lot of time in my own head, and I realise now how much I need that. Don't take it personally. I promise it's not you.

So what am I like? My humour is situational, my idea of a good time involves no alcohol whatsoever, and while I'm not the most daring monkey in the jungle recreationally speaking (my fear of getting in trouble is usually a bit of a downer), I'm quite content doing nothing at all and still managing to have fun. I tend to switch between being very intense and very laid back, so you'll just have to go with the flow.

I'm honest, usually too much so, and I have absolutely no tact at all. I'm very open, but not necessarily very trusting. I'm loyal, always, and morals matter to me - what I believe to be right and fair is important to how I live my life and how I feel about things within it. That being said, I'm a very open-minded person - On the whole, I like people to be comfortable with who and what they are. I'm both compassionate and forgiving; people can usually come to me with anything and I'll not only still be there, but I'll actually give a damn. While these may sound like admirable traits, they also lead me to have door-mat-like tendencies. People tend to either see me as being very wise, or a total idiot. Both are acceptable reactions; I'm all about perception. Apparently I have the ability to make people trust me; Truly, I am flattered. As sage as all of this makes me sound, allow me to be very clear on a key point; I *will* pay close attention to you, your life, and especially your actions, scrutinizing all of the above with the same brutal honesty I use on myself, and you will know exactly what I think of it all, whether you like it or not. This can be good or bad, depending on how you see it. Yes, I have accepted that sometimes, most times, I care a little too much, but I'm cool with that.

I'm fairly self-assertive, to the point of seeming self-centered, but the truth is I often talk about things just for the sake of talking - I don't always care about my weekly drama as much as you think, it's just another story to tell, so you should usually feel free to change the subject. I can be very naive, very gullible, and a horrible judge of character - I have this awful "innocent" streak which causes me to be far more hopeless at times than I'd like. I'm very protective of what I believe to be mine, be it a friend or a belief. Whilst I'm far from arrogant, I'm a very proud person, and my ego can be quite fragile - This means that to embarrass me is to alienate me completely, and that if I say I'm sorry, I mean it, and I'll expect you to mean it too.

I'm often labelled "angry", which is very often the case; I'm an incredibly passionate person, and I take pretty much everything far more seriously than I should. On the topic of my anger, make a note of the fact that anger is good for me, it works, and the louder I'm yelling, the safer you actually are; think of me as a fire - when I'm blazing, I'll burn out, and everything will be OK, but when I freeze and the flames die, it takes a lot to warm me up again. I am neither rational nor logical by nature, but I try damn hard to be; any intelligence I have has been sought out, and was not a god-given gift.

As often as I am serious, I spend just as much time being the biggest dork you will ever meet. I play Pokemon. I watch the Disney channel. I think wasting hours of my life in an attempt to name a car is a perfectly valid use of my time. And I love every minute of it. If there is a lame joke to be made, I will make it. If there is a Simpsons quote that is appropriate, it will be used. Rest assured that for all of my depth there is something just as superficial going on in my head. You can generally tell where I am in the vacinity by hearing my laugh from far, far away. I make no apologies for it, though; I am both loud and childlike, and that is how I shall stay.

I don't do bitchy (which covers manipulation, deception, pettiness and malice), I can't stand practical jokes of any kind (Seriously... just don't), and I have potentially the best memory of anyone I've ever met (You do it, I'll remember it). There are things I can tolerate and things I can't - it won't take much to find out which is which; I wear both my heart and my mind on my sleeve. If it's possible to be not only a lover and a fighter, but a philosopher and a child as well, then that is what I am, and I'm still trying to work out exactly how that came about.

My past is complicated, my future is blurry, and my present is either totally scattered, or compulsively focused. I'm only vaguely sure of where I am and have little or no idea where I'm going, though I remember every little thing about where I've been. I try to involve myself in the real world as often as possible, since I plan to change it one day. No promises though, I tend to like my world better.
Motto: "One breath at a time is an acceptable plan." - Ani Difranco

"I am an accident waiting to happen.
I'm laughing like mad while you strangle the captain.
My place may be taken, but make no mistake,
from a little black black box I can say without shame
that you've lost.
Do you know what you've lost?"

Some Linda Goodman Aries Quotes:
"Male or female, these people will fight what they feel is an injustice on the spot, and they're not bashful about voicing their opinions. The ram will talk back to a traffic cop or an armed gangster with equal vigor, if either one happens to annoy him... Mars people come straight to the point, with no shilly-shallying."
"Like the infant, Aries is concerned with the world only as it relates to himself. But who could call the small baby truly selfish?... It's hard to resist a baby, because he's so totally unaware that he's causing anyone the slightest inconvenience."
"The baby fears nothing and no one, until he gets burned. Even then, he'll trustingly try again, when he's forgotten the hurt."
"If you see him openly weeping, you can be certain that he's been cut to the very soul in some way. Aries would rather be caught dead than be caught weak - and some of them literally risk the former to avoid the latter."
"Give him a choice of money or glory, and he'll take glory any time."
"Arien anger flashes forth with the speed of sound, but it's usually gone before the victim knows what it's all about, and the happy, child-like smile quickly returns."
"The typical ram will dine with beggars and kings with equal ease and genuine affection.
"His amazing faith in himself is matched only by his naive trust in others."
"To Aries, miracles are a dime a dozen. If you run out, he'll make you some more, wrapped in brave, scarlet dreams."
"... tough enough to defy convention, face an advancing army, or even shoot a man through the head with icy calmness, if he threatens her loved ones."
"When the Aries woman has been really hurt, she turns from fire to ice. Her fire burs hot and dies quickly. Her ice can be eternal."
"She can never forgive you if you fail to fight for her or take her side... She'll also defend you. An Aries woman will throw away fame or fortune defiantly right in the face of anyone who hurts a friend of hers. If she loves you, her indignation will have no bounds. These women are nothing if not loyal."

That's all for now.

WAIT!

... No I was right before, that's all.

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